HOW TO DECIDE ABOUT SEX
This video teaches young adolescents:
That abstaining from sexual activity during the middle school years is both normal and desirable.
That the risks of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are very real and should be taken seriously.
That there are good ways to prevent being pressured into choices about sex that they are uncomfortable with.
If your school or organization does not have these videos, you can purchase them from Live Wire Media, or request them from your local library.
If you are using the video, ask the first question before viewing.
1. Agree, or disagree: If you aren't having sex, there's something wrong with you.
2. Boys: Do you feel like your manhood is on the line every time you're around a girl?
3. When it comes to getting sexual, whose job is it to set the limits? Why?
4. Some people think that you haven't become a "man" or a "woman" until you've had sex. Do you agree? Why, or why not?
5. What are some of the emotional risks of having sex?
6. How can you tell when you're being pressured?
7. Is it ever okay to pressure another person into having sex with you? Explain why you feel that way.
8. What can make it difficult to say no to sexual pressure?
9. Is it possible to love another person (in the romantic sense) and not have sex?
10. Does having sex with someone prove that you love that person?
11. What are some other ways, besides sex, to express your love or affection for a boyfriend or girlfriend?
12. Some people believe that if a boy wants to have sex, his girlfriend owes it to him. What do you think about that idea? Do you agree or disagree? Why? How does that idea make you feel?
13. How does it make you feel when people brag about having sex? Does it make you respect them more? Does it make them more cool? Why do you feel that way? Why do you think some people brag about having sex?
14. Do you know anybody your age who has been harmed by being sexually active, or who regrets being sexually active?
15. How does something as dangerous as AIDS effect how you feel about sex? How do you think it is going to effect your decisions about sex?
16. How do you know that a potential sex partner is not infected with the AIDS virus or another sexually transmitted disease?
17. What are the benefits of refraining from sexual activity at your age?
18. Is there anything wrong with not being sexually active at your age?
19. When is it okay to start having sex? Why do you think that?
20. What role, if any, should your parents play in helping you make choices about sex?
21. What was most meaningful to you in this video? Why?
Other teaching guides in this series:
2. Imagine that you are on a date and your boyfriend or girlfriend is trying to pressure you into having sex. What are some of the things he or she might say (make a list)? What are some good ways for you to respond to these "lines?"
3. Imagine that someone you really like wants to have sex with you, but you don't feel ready for it. Brainstorm some ways to say "no" without jeopardizing your relationship. Try role-playing this situation with both girls and boys in the role of the person saying "no."
4. Have the class list as many sexually transmitted diseases as they can think of. Then, break the class into groups and have them research each of these diseases and present their findings to the class. Their presentations should include a) how do you get it, b) how do you know you have it, c) what does it do to you, d) how do you treat it, e) how curable is it?
1. Make an inventory of your attitudes and beliefs about sex. Select two that you feel most strong about and write a paragraph defending each one.
2. Imagine that some day you will have a child. Write a letter of advice for that child to open when he or she reaches the age you are right now. Tell the child how you feel about sexual activity during the middle school years, and the kinds of choices you hope he or she will make at this age.
3. Write about someone you know who has become sexually active. How did it happen? How did it make you feel? Did you change anything or make any decisions based on that experience? What did you learn from it?
4. How do you set your own limits about sex? How do you go about deciding what you personally feel comfortable with? When do you know you've set the limit properly? What role do your parents or other adults play in your decisions about sex?
5. How is sex portrayed on television and in the movies? Is it accurate? Is it helpful to you? Does it influence you in any way? How does it affect you? What do you think about it? How would you change it?
6. Write an imaginary dialogue between you and another person (your boyfriend or girlfriend, for instance) in which you resist having sex. Explain your limits to this person, and suggest something you'd rather do instead.
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